Friday, May 25, 2007

going straight to hell: the weekly DBA

my bridal-shopping friends, what i am about to say isn't very nice. it puts me in mind of the old phrase -- 'if you can't say something nice, come sit next to me' --

but i have spent a good deal of time sifting through a lot of *stuff*. you have too: invitations. cards. save the date possibilities. favors. gifts. dresses. jewelry. bridesmaid crap. who knew there was so much *stuff* involved? and every now and then you come across something that just makes you think: what were they thinking?

in honor of this, and in spite of my deep and abiding admiration for etsyers and my desire to make friends and have world peace, i respectfully debut my new occasional feature entitled "the weekly DBA" -- the weekly David's Bridal Award, in honor of a place that truly made me want to light myself or someone nearby on fire.*

(the title would've been "**WTF???**" but hey, my mom reads this blog. would i use that mouth to talk to my mom? not when she's just heard what hors d'ouvres cost from hotel catering.) ($3.50-4.75 **per piece**, ahem!)

in these interludes we pause for a moment to contemplate some of the more creative entries in the bridal horserace. please know this is a friendly sort of poking fun and not a snarky "i must destroy your happiness and ridicule your personal style/masterpiece/etc." my style ain't the same as everyone's and i firmly believe in to each their own. these DBAs are just my two american cents.

without further disclaimer, the inaugural "weekly DBA":

80s GUNNE SAX Misses Lined Fitted Brides or Bridesmaids Wedding Dress UNCUT Simplicity Pattern Size 10
1980's gunne sax bride/ bridesmaid dress simplicity pattern

admittedly, this one's a softball. a no-brainer. i say: cool! sew your own wedding dress. no problem. still -- correct me if i'm wrong, some forms of retro are indeed fabulous fun -- but jessica mcclintock for gunne sax was what we wore to my 6th grade dance. and it looked bad on us even when it was in style. gunne sax, i dub thee the weekly DBA.

* it's not the people who work at david's, they are lovely. it is the FLUORESCENT MIRRORED HELL. would it be so hard to have natural lighting so we don't all look like sallow heifers? just a thought.


  1. Hehehe. Your post made me laugh aloud. Thanks from a bride-to-be.

  2. i just discovered your blog. even though the your sister's wedding is over, your posts are still so relevant! they're also quite hysterical. i love the idea of the DBA award. kudos!


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